| random quote... |
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| 03:20am 09/08/2005 |
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mood:  uncertain music: Moby - Run On
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"A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort."
- Herm Albright |
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Read 1 - Post |
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| Kind of a cool one |
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| 02:24am 28/07/2005 |
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the Wit (73% dark, 39% spontaneous, 22% vulgar) | your humor style: CLEAN | COMPLEX | DARK
You like things edgy, subtle, and smart. I guess that means you're probably an intellectual, but don't take that to mean you're pretentious. You realize 'dumb' can be witty--after all isn't that the Simpsons' philosophy?--but rudeness for its own sake, 'gross-out' humor and most other things found in a fraternity leave you totally flat.
I guess you just have a more cerebral approach than most. You have the perfect mindset for a joke writer or staff writer. Your sense of humor takes the most effort to appreciate, but it's also the best, in my opinion.
Also, you probably loved the Office. If you don't know what I'm talking about, check it out here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/theoffice/. Bethibunny.. we matched up on this one.. go fig...
PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Jon Stewart - Woody Allen - Ricky Gervais | |
My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: | You scored higher than 99% on dark | | You scored higher than 0% on spontaneous | | You scored higher than 33% on vulgar |
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| Thought for the Day... |
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| 02:55pm 19/07/2005 |
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mood:  rushed music: laundry tumbling in the dryer...
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"Reputation is a bubble which a man bursts when he tries to blow it for himself."
- Emma Carleton |
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| Quote time |
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| 02:55am 19/07/2005 |
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mood:  lonely music: Bryan Adams - Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman
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"Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced"
- James Baldwin |
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Post |
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| update on B-day woes... |
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| 02:37am 19/07/2005 |
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mood:  lonely music: Bryan Adams - Everything I Do
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Thank you all for the Love. I went out around mid-night on Friday night and stayed for about 2 1/2 hours. It was fun but it didn't really pull me out of my darkness. I did turn it around for myself Saturday night when I went to Bleu and got to hear 4 great DJs blow the place up. I got completely lost in the music and just had a fantastic time.
now for some personal notes to some wonderful people...
bethibunny... "YAY FOR STUFF!!!" miss you sweetie... smoochies - and stuff ;-) Shanny girl... I know you would, if you could *HUGS* Mini-me... you were there with me in spirit, I was in the cage a LOT, woohoo Megs... my fellow cancerian cutie... the hopes weren't really THAT high. oh well, it got better. Mostly... Tommy.. my man, we'll both make it through this foggy time, and hopefully we can hang some time soon... |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| happy birthday to me... |
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| 11:15pm 15/07/2005 |
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mood:  changing music: RENT soundtrack
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what a birthday...
day begins, I'm on a high... a natural one things are looking up getting stuff done, living life and moving forward a bit will this be the day I can turn my year around? or at least start around that bend to healing and the other good stuff? it looks like it, puppy kisses and purring kitty... unconditional love is fantastic... it's going to be such a great weekend. should have known better... plans are collapsing everywhere... dog won't come near when I'm crying... cat seems to know something... hoped for more than I ever should have... trying to scream and nothing comes out... tears are blinding me... glad I was in the shower when they hit so hard... can't be like this... I'm everyones rock, I have to get through this shit... NO ONE should ever be alone on their birthday... unless it's their choice... it sure wasn't mine...
gonna try to turn it around... change the music... music has always freed me from everything when I needed it don't know if 'bandwidth' will work but gonna try it.. hopefully I can loose myself in the music... staying completely sober and clean for my b-day may have been a mistake considering extenuating circumstances and all... but gonna keep it that way til tomorrow sometime at least... I can do this... the music change is already working... 24 with 12 years experience... sometimes I feel like emotionally I'm 12 ... where'd that other 24 years go? physically, very thankful I don't feel my age... hehehe, not even close... ok... now I'm ready to go out... back to your regularly scheduled rants...
if you bothered to read all of this... HUGS... and probably a "love you sweetie/bro" in there too... |
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Read 9 - Post |
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| Life? |
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| 09:16pm 21/06/2005 |
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What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.
Crowfoot - Blackfoot Chief |
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Post |
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| Solstice... a renewal... |
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| 03:05am 21/06/2005 |
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mood:  hopeful music: Between Father Sky and Mother Earth
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We have two wonderful events, for me anyways, happening at the same time. A fantastic Full Moon, and the Solstice. I have made my peace with myself and said my prayer to our Mother Earth. I have given my thanks for all she gives unto us each and every day. I offered sage and sweet grass to her four winds. I said an Old Native Prayer to the Great Spirit. I renewed my connection with myself and my world. I have decided to reopen my life to all our bountiful mother has to offer. I'm not giving up my life as it is known, but I am bringing back into it, that, which I feel, I had wondered too far away from. The old native prayer I said on this eve is meant to be read as it flows in the lines that follow...
O'Great Spirit,
Whose voice I hear in the winds,
And whose breath gives life to all the world, hear me!
I am small and weak, I need your strength and wisdom.
Let me walk in beauty, and make my eyes ever behold the red and purple sunset.
Make my hands respect the things you have made and my ears sharp to hear your voice.
Make me wise so that I may understand the things you have taught my people.
Let me learn the lessons you have hidden in every leaf and rock.
I seek strength, not to be greater than my brother,
but to fight my greatest enemy - myself.
Make me always ready to come to you with clean hands and straight eyes.
So when life fades, as the fading sunset,
my spirit may comes to you without shame. |
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Read 3 - Post |
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| Quote time |
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| 01:36am 13/06/2005 |
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mood:  hopeful music: David Guetta - you are the music
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"A mind, like a home, is furnished by it's owner, so if one's life is cold and bare he can blame none but himself"
- Louis L'Amour
poignant to say the least... |
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Post |
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| random quote I found... |
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| 03:36am 10/06/2005 |
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mood:  optimistic
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"It is not failure, but more often the fear of failure that sabotages success."
I think I'm going to start adding good random quotes i find on a regular basis... what do you think? |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| revelation... healing |
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| 12:30pm 01/06/2005 |
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mood:  ashamed music: the singing of the birds outside and the snoring of my dog
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wow.. what an ass I was.. I was so stuck in trying to figure out what went wrong, I couldn't just be happy to look back and see all the beautiful things that were right. I owe two wonderful people a huge apology. I blew a chance at being able to bond and heal. I wasn't listening to myself and hearing the other definitions of "if you love something, set it free" Set the memories free. Sometimes you just have to "let it go" in order to let it heal, then later go back and figure it out. Why couldn't I see that for myself sooner? I've told other people that. I've seen it now though, and now all I can do is shake my head. I'm ashamed of myself for not seeing it sooner. i should have picked up pen and paper a longtime ago. That's where I saw it. Right there on the page. Typing here and in my private journal on my computer were to impersonal and turned into just vents.
I had to delete my last entry. Because it was written while in emotional turmoil. I couldn't let that entry stand any longer. I was too wrong. |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| Big Surprise... |
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| 07:22am 27/05/2005 |
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 You have a Purple Lightsaber.
Purple is associated with wisdom, dignity, independence, creativity, mystery, and magic. Purple denotes high spirituality and religious aspiration. Purple also represents Peacefulness and Purification. It also has a sense of intuitive understanding and a feeling of intimacy with the world.
What Colored Lightsaber Would You Have? brought to you by Quizilla |
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Post |
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| Introducing Shane and Sarah Cantrell... |
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| 12:20am 16/05/2005 |
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mood:  contemplative music: Sarah McClachlan - Ice cream
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I got to see two of my VERY dear friends get married today. It was such a beautiful ceremony. They had a wonderful video presentation accompanied by music before the the mothers lit the candles that the couple would be lighting the "unity" candle from. It started with Shane's full name and his birthdate, then we got to see pictures from when his mother was pregnant to him being born and slowly watched him grow up in the photos. I hadn't realized I had known him THAT long. It was very cute seeing his personality traits showing up in his pictures as he grew up it was always in him. Got a little choked up. Then we watched Sarah grow up in pictures. Wow, again I've known her several years too. She was always her too, you could just see it in her smiles and the look in her eyes in the pictures. Still choked up a bit. Then it was a compilation of pictures of them and their times together. I was there the day his feelings for her went from flirty friends to "I need to be with this woman" So we got to see them in pictures together from the last few years, and you could see their love just growing and growing. Their affection for each other just poured off the screens and into our hearts. I was on the verge of crying, the good happy tears. There was some sadness on my part due to parts of my life not being where I would like them to be. The ceremony was good. The Priest that performed it was good, he kept it light hearted and wasn't all serious and stuff. There was a bit more god and jesus references than most of us expected, but that was probably mostly for the relatives present. At the reception the best man, another dear friend, gave a beautiful speech about what the definition of family is. I have to remember to ask him for a copy of what he said. I did cry during that part, but so did several of the "Old Joust Crew". We all think of each other as true family. We've been there for each other when it counted. We've been there through thick and thin. We've been there when "friends" weren't. We've been there when blood relations refused. True family. Seeing these two fantastic people sharing this moment with us was pure magic. I wouldn't have missed it for the world. I am SO happy for you Shane and Sarah. I wish you an eternity of Love and Happiness TOGETHER!!! |
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Read 4 - Post |
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| I Will Survive!!! |
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| 11:22pm 08/04/2005 |
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mood: um yeah... music: Steven Lynch - Special Fred
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"Good... Bad... I'm the guy with the 'Katana'..." *wink*
ok bodycount.. but look at my chances of survival...
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Read 2 - Post |
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| Wow... |
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| 05:20pm 08/04/2005 |
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Purer than I thought I'd be...
Very Kinky You are 32% pure | | | |
My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender: | You scored higher than 16% on purity |
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Post |
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| had to do it |
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| 06:16pm 01/04/2005 |
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Cindy.. you made it... and who is your first match? Chuck for prez.. Got my vote bro! Jamie??? yeah right ;-) |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| EXACTLY ! |
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| 06:02pm 01/04/2005 |
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mood:  contemplative
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I found a quote that I think makes all the sense in the world, and kind of explains why I try to always be happy and bouncy and dancing around when I can. Well aside from dancing be a great way to get out frustrations and aggressions and help me make the troubles disappear for a while.
"For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness." - Ralph Waldo Emerson |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| Confusion Sux |
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| 08:35pm 30/03/2005 |
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mood:  confused music: Voltaire - Screw the Okampa
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I feel so confused lately. About everything too. The little things, the major things, everything in between. I don't know if I can trust my own thoughts lately. I see things but I'm not sure if I'm just seeing them from my own perspective, alone. Rather than how I used to be able to see stuff. I was so used to seeing things from the Devil's Advocate perspective. I would see stuff from several different points of view, and be able to help others all the time that way. Now, when I need to help myself, I can't see a damn thing sometimes. I doubt myself at every turn. I hate feeling like this. I've always been good at helping others and lousy at helping myself. I don't remember it being this bad before. Maybe it's because I don't really have anyone I can truly talk to right now. Everyone I used to talk to is either gone or has too biased of an opinion one my current issues. FRUSTRATING!
OK... enough ranting... on to our regularly sceduled programming...
bounce bounce, dance dance, social butterfly... bounce bounce, dance dance, happy smiley social Dancerman/Mark... |
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Read 6 - Post |
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